Below are two excerpts from Flannery O’Connors A Prayer Journal.
Looking back over what I’ve published to this blog, I’m surprised that I’ve made no mention of Flannery O’Connor. I have such a deep respect for her work and faith. I think of all her writings, A Good Man is Hard to Find and The Habit of Being are the most memorable for me. She was a brilliant writer. And what strikes me the most about her prayer journal is how humble and childlike her faith was. She gives me courage.
9/25 What I am asking for is really very ridiculous. Oh Lord, I am saying, at present I am a cheese, make me a mystic, immediately. But then God can do that–make mystics out of cheeses. But why should He do it for an ingrate slothful & dirty creature like me. I can’t stay in the church to say a Thanksgiving even and as for preparing for Communion the night before–thoughts all elsewhere. The rosary is mere rote for me while I think of other and usually impious things. But I would like to be a mystic and immediately. But dear God please give me some place, no matter how small, but let me know it and keep it. If I am the one to wash the second step everyday, let me know it and let me wash it and let my heart overflow with love of washing it.
Dear God, In a way I got a good punishment for my lack of charity to Mr. Rothburg* last year. He came back at me today like a tornado which while it didn’t hurt me too much yet ruined my show. All this is about charity. Dear Lord please make my mind vigilant about that. I say many many too many uncharitable things about people everyday. I say them because they make me look clever. Please help me to realize practically how cheap this is. I have nothing to be proud of yet myself. I am stupid, quite as stupid as the people I ridicule. Please help me to stop this selfishness because I love you, dear God. I don’t want to be all excuses though. I am not much. Please help me to do Your Word oh Lord.
*A fellow workshop student.